Very Important News


Friday, April 27, 2007

Game ON! With Sakura And The Dude: Gamers Violent?

Hi guys! Following our report over the terrible violence marred the PS3 launch a scientific Think Tank has concluded that games make people violent. Professor A Jenkins had this to say "Games make people violent, like Pokemon man I want to smash their stupid faces in!!!!!!"

It was also revealed that the shooters of the gamer killed in the PS3 scrum were high on drugs.

"These ruffians taking magic mushroom were clearly influenced by the questionable behaviour of Super Mario who notoriously needs mushrooms to become "Super". This game must be outlawed immediately" raged Senator Jack Thompson. "I have asked the local FBI office to conduct an immediate search into the whereabouts of this "Super" Mario and bring him in for questioning!"

The Dude says: I like it when Mario wears the hat with the ears.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Dogg's Eye View: On The War On Terror

The Very Important News Network is always endeavouring to bring more distinct viewpoints of all the major events of our times. To that end VIN is proud to introduce our newest guest columnist, Kool Dogg.

Mr Dogg is a “straight up gangsta” from the mean streets of New York
via the tough ‘hoods of L.A. Our new ethnic reporter joins us for his unique take on the news. This uncompromising view represents the hard reality of life and the real word on the streets. Today on VIN, Kool Dogg on The War On Terror:

“Yo Terror Squad is tha bomb! Fat Joe represent!”

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

SPOTTED: Week beginning 9th April 2007

Report by Lisa Lucker


in Malawi pointing at some orphans while holding a child sized suitcase.

Mcauley Culkin sunbathing and shouting out at passers by: "I'm not an albino!"

Rachel Leigh Cook
wanting to be on a set of a new movie.

Friday, April 06, 2007

The Buzz: K Fed up with his career?

Report by Clarissa Scheissberg

'Self made millionaire'
Kevin Federline is attempting to poke fun at himself in a new US TV ad. The commercial for Nationwide Mutual Insurance sees Federline rapping in a lavish music video before revealing he was just daydreaming at his fast food restaurant job.

The 'rap superstar' agreed to do the advert because he felt it was time people saw a different side to him. He allegedly said, "I felt that it was a good time to come out and make fun of myself. It really works for me financially. I try not to take myself too seriously unless it is about my rap superstar status"

Federline's debut album
Playing With Fire has sold a staggering 6,500 copies on its first week of release last year! Talk about being hot hot hot!

Monday, April 02, 2007

SPOTTED: Week beginning 2nd April 2007

Report by Lisa Lucker


Kevin Bacon having a beef with the restaurant owner of a Los Angeles Taco Bell.

Benjamin Bratt trying to calm Kevin Bacon down and calling the manager of the Los Angeles Taco Bell.

Emilio Estevez stripping out of his manager's outfit of a Los Angeles Taco Bell and driving to the set of a new movie (for a last minute audition near by).