Very Important News


Monday, September 24, 2007

Rumor Mill: P. I. N. Kraut?

Report by Tyler "Ty" Deschanel

Shocking everyone today is the news that former RnB star, current angry rock/pop/crap star Pink is actually a German!

The sassy singer, real name Alecia Moore, broke out in the late 90's surprising everyone by being both white and an RnB star! She came to her senses later when she ditched the melodic caterwauling for rockier miming but scandal has always followed her, primarily the accusation that she is German. Her highly masculine face and burly body were the key giveaways, but today she will reportedly set the record straight!

"Yes its true Ty, I am a Kraut! I am surprised not more people realised after listening to my manly voice and watching me dance in a manly fashion whilst looking like a man in drag! This however does not make me a Nazi though I admit I am partial to goose-stepping and do love a bit of Sauerkraut and Wienerschnitzel!"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

My dream woman, come here PINK, you've got talent!

David Hasselhoff

8:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ich Agreesteinen! Heil PINK!

H. Itler

8:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I for one will not be buying her records as I am part Jewish and as you all know we hate all Germans like Mel Gibson!

Rob Schneider

8:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not German! But I sure hate you!
Because you're NOT funny and overrated!

Guffaw Guffaw!

Mel "uber rich" Gibson

8:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Mel I am also uber rich! We should start a studio together!

Steven Speilberg

1:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No chance sugar tits - I'm doing panto with Michael Richards this winter!

Mel "Melboy" Gibson

1:40 AM  

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