VIN IS BACK! Hooray! BRITNEY IS BACK! Oh dear!
Report by Mr Jones, Live at the MTV VMAs
Very Important News celebrated the end of its annual summer vacation with its annual trip to the MTV VMA awards. VIN has had a long time association with the awards and in recognition of this the entire VIN staff including Mr Smith, Ty & Clarissa Scheissberg, were made guests of honour.
The highlight of the music love-in was the much anticipated comeback of VMA favourite Britney Spears with her new song "Gimme More". Over the past few months Spears has been the subject of much conjecture and mockery. VIN was greatly concerned by the recent troubles that Britney was going through. We miss the days of the tight outfits, the sexually suggestive dancing and the odd vocals - and so we were all looking forward to the promise of a show stopping performance.
Unfortunately the performance stopped the show for all the wrong reasons. The former teen superstar stumbled on to stage seemingly unaware of her surroundings and then forgot the lyrics before miming about 5 seconds out of sync with the song. She then ranted about why the War was a good thing and that she was hoping to enlist next month and "whoop some Ass" and later pointing to Kanye West screaming "Kanye West doesn’t care about White People" before being dragged off the stage by her dancers.
Even fellow nominees were shocked by the performance. 50 Cent who was in the crowd was said to be grimacing but we are not sure if this was due to Britney or just his regular expression. Justin Timberlake was seen to be giggling uncontrollably with Scarlett Johansson while Christina Aguilera was literally rolling on the floor laughing her ass off. Host Sarah Silverman was merciless with her post Britney jibes and even threatened to elaborate more on her Comedy Central show The Sarah Silverman Show - fortunately for Britney it is unlikely that anyone will actually watch it.
We at VIN salute Britney's pluck and determination and are sure this setback won't hamper her return to her hit making days - we are sure the public will forgive her. Why? Well mainly cos she's hot.