The Buzz: Splitney Spears!

Report By Mr Jones

In news that has shocked the world, Britney Spears, the former pop star turned professional baby maker, has finalised divorce proceedings from layabout husband Kevin Federline, according to official sources.

Kathy Roberts, a spokeswoman for the Los Angeles County Superior Court confirmed that the singer has filed the case, with Spears claiming "irreconcilable differences" have forced her into the position. According to eyewitnesses Spears then performed a quick medley of her hits all the while carrying her two babies under her arms.

Spears and Federline, who married in 2004 after a whirlwind romance, have two sons together, whom Spears is demanding legal and physical custody of. Federline was often criticised for first turning the classy singer into a trailer trash redneck and then abandoning Britney with the children shortly after her pregnancies while he spent her cash at clubs and strip joints with his friends. He then decided to embark on a thus far extremely successful music career which industry observers say drove Britney "insanely jealous".

VIN will have more on this tragic story soon.