Rumour Mill: Eva's beaver to meet Beyoncé's B Day?

Report by Tyler "Ty" Deschanel

In news that is sure to be very important to a lot of our readers, Eva Longoria and Beyoncé Knowles are in talks to play dirty lesbian lovers in a new movie.

The pair are in negotiations with director Sofia Coppola who is hoping to bring Sarah Water's novel Tipping The Velvet, about sexual repression to the big screen and is desperate for Beyoncé and Eva to take the roles of a 1890s music hall star, Kitty Butler, and her lesbian lover Nan Astley.

"We've had Brokeback Mountain so the time is right for this divine novel to get the same treatment," Beyoncé purred seductively in her underwear. Longoria added whilst writhing: "Yes it's true, we're talking about doing that. It's such a wonderful novel, a beautiful love story."

VIN caught up with Sofia Coppola "This film will be the best ever! Even better than Barb Wire though not as a good as Showgirls."

Beyoncé and Eva are said to be incredibly excited about the steamy love scenes and can't wait for filming on the project to start. A source revealed: "They weren't at all coy about the sex scenes. In fact they both seemed to think it would be more fun than doing the same work with a man. It's going to be very hot." Cinema aficionados across the country are already stocking up on Kleenex.

The Internet has officially announced a national holiday should the film be made.