The Buzz: Jason Statham Interview!
World Exclusive Interview by Mr Jones
Hollywood action man Jason Statham took time out of his busy schedule of dancing in front of a mirror and beating people up to speak to VIN exclusively about his latest projects.
VIN: First of all Jason I have to say you look great!
Jason Statham: Thanks Mr Jones! In my line of work I have to be in peak physical condition. I used to go to the gym a lot but then I realised that dancing in front of my bedroom mirror and listening to power ballads really gave me the workout I need.
VIN: Fantastic! So tell us about your new film Bank Day?
JS: It’s a great big action packed Jerry Bruckheimer thriller! I wasn’t sure about another action film - I was planning to act in a classy period film where I play an 18th century dandy but when Jerry Bruckheimer calls you, you gotta answer! The script is written by some newcomers so I was unsure but when I read my big line, "Time to take out the tax!" in a delicious pun I knew I just had to do it!
VIN: Great, great, so what's the situation with Checkmates?
JS: Well Mr Jones I can't talk much about it but seeing as it's for VIN I'll tell you the gossip. Basically our director Milos Forman was very disappointed with the script. It called for our new addition to the cast Andre 3000 to defeat a chess grandmaster by using a new move called the "Hip Hop rook to da castle smash grab" which involves one piece talking out all the others in a combo manoeuvre. Unfortunately the chess community are in uproar as this move isn’t actually used in chess. And they claim it's an insult for a move to rewrite the centuries old rules of chess for a movie. Shows how much they know! Anyway Andre 300 has pulled out now and we will be replacing him with Michael Richards who will be blacking up to play the role of Chess Dogg, it's actually part of his community service after his racial outburst.
VIN: So Andre is out and Kramer is in?
JS: Yes that’s right! We have also had some problems with Paul Walker who can't convincingly play chess on screen. We have resorted to using stunt hands for the close ups but its still proving to be a stressful environment. Forman keeps threatening to quit but fortunately Uwe Boll is ready in the wings should this happen.
VIN: Well Jason thanks for talking to us exclusively for VIN!
JS: Its always a pleasure for VIN and Mr Jones! Now I have to get back to my tunes and my mirror!
And with that Hollywood hard man returned to pumping his glistening guns to Bonnie Tyler's Hero. The definition of masculinity has surely just been rewritten by this supremely talented star. VIN predicts big things for Jason! You can BANK on it!