Rumor Mill: Rothman not X-static about X3 success

Report by Tyler “Ty” Deschanel

20th Century Fox boss Tom Rothman is rumoured to be furious at the success of his studio’s recent film X-Men: The Last Stand. The studio honcho had hoped the hit movie would fail at the box office after he replaced original director Bryan (X-Men, X2) Singer with fanboy enemy Brett (Money Talks) Ratner but it defied expectations and smashed box office records to make over $120m this weekend. “I had hoped that this stupid nerd movie would flop and then I would be rid of all these comic book geeks emailing us all the time, “Wolverine is too tall! Kingpin isn’t meant to be black! Jessica Alba isn’t a plausible scientist! Boo hoo!” he mocked.

“The first part of my plan also backfired, we made a rubbish Fantastic Four but still the fools went to see it! So I thought ok lets make a really crap X-Men film - that will teach them! But still they come! Well you know what? We are going ahead with X4! And this time I’m reducing the budget to $15m! And we’re replacing Hugh Jackman with Drew Carey, Halle Berry with Ricky Lake and Ian McKellan with 50 Cent …. And Uwe Boll is going to direct!!! Let’s see if they come then!” he shrieked.

When asked what kind of films he’d rather be making he elaborated: “Well I’ve always loved the work of Rob Schneider”.

All I can say is roll on X-Men 4!