Very Important News


Friday, November 24, 2006

The Buzz: K-K-Kramer?

Report by Mr Jones

In the wake of his recent furious racist outburst against black hecklers at a comedy club, comedian Michael Richards has denied he is a racist.

The former Seinfeld star, has offered the standard celebrity apology after being caught making highly racist comments.

Richards took to airwaves Monday night to apologize and say he flipped out when he spewed racial epithets during a stand-up comedy routine Friday in Los Angeles.

During an appearance on the "Late Show" with David Letterman, Richards, who played the wacky (but not racist) Kramer, said he lost his cool while being heckled and not because he's a bigot.

Richards, on a video hookup from California, told Letterman, "For me to be at a comedy club and flip out and say this crap, I'm deeply, deeply sorry," adding, "I'm not a racist. That's what's so insane about this, almost as insane as my idea for having Ketchup & Mayo in the same bottle."

Then, his tone became angry and frustrated as he defended himself. Richards grew flustered and expressed second thoughts about appearing on the "Late Show" when some audience members chuckled because he used the term "Afro-American."

Many studio audience members thought the whole stunt was a joke. Richards said, "I lost my temper onstage... I got heckled and I took it badly and went into a rage and said some pretty nasty things to some Afro-Americans."

But Seinfeld, a guest in the studio in New York, took offence when some audience members found his comments funny and began laughing. He said, "Stop laughing. It's not funny." while high-fiving Curb Your Enthusiasm star Larry David.

That's when Richards told Letterman, "I'm hearing your audience laugh, and I'm not even sure that this is where I should be addressing the situation."

His comments came during a scheduled appearance on the show by Jerry Seinfeld, who has called the incident a "Horrible, horrible mistake. We should forget these comments and instead remember the Michael Richards of my hit show which is incidentally now available on DVD!"

In a video of the incident featured on the Web site, Richards purportedly screamed, "Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a f***ing fork up your ass!"

Directing his anger at one of the men, Richards said, "Throw his ass out," and said, "He's a n***a!" five times.

Also during the three minute tirade, Richards said, "They're going to arrest me for calling a black man a n***a!"

The video shows some people walking out, with others gasping, but there's also some audible chuckling throughout the outburst. Possibly from Wayne Knight who supposedly attended.

The majority of the Seinfeld cast have rallied around Richards. Seinfeld star of the show had this to say "Yes it's true my friend made racist comments, not that there's anything wrong with that! Oh wait a minute, that is wrong, very wrong!"

Julia Louis-Dreyfuss who played Elaine Benes, was stunned when she heard the news exclaiming "Get out!" before knocking over our reporter.

Jason Alexander, the short, stocky, slow-witted, balding actor who played George Costanza only had this to say "Jason is getting frustrated!" whilst Wayne Knight who played devious mailman Newman only chuckled mischievously at the news.

This whole incident has thrown Richards' many business ventures into disarray including The Mansiere (aka The Bro), a bladder system for oil tankers, a pizza place where you make your own pizza and of course his New York based Rickshaws-pulled-by-the-homeless business. His business partner H. E. Pennypacker claimed it was the last time he would ever work with Richards.

Richards is now looking to hire representation to deal with his many upcoming lawsuits. This is most likely to be famous lawyer Jackie Chiles who has notably lost many cases.

VIN believes Richards' is genuinely sorry, especially as this scandal means his career is now effectively dead. VIN would also suggest that Richards and fellow popular actor turned professional racist, Mel Gibson should team up together. With their outrageous antics who knows what would happen!


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