Rumor Mill: Eager Eva

Report by Tyler "Ty" Deschanel

In a strange case of life imitating art, Desperate Housewife Eva Longoria has admitted she recently embarked upon an affair with her own gardener.

What is bizarre is that Longoria isn’t married nor does she have a garden.

However unlike her hit show, her gardener isn’t an attractive hunk but in fact an overweight, one legged Bulgarian. "I just wanted to try something different and naughty! And I'd do it again!" she squealed. In a strange coincidence, a line of unsightly reprobates has appeared outside her Beverly Hills mansion just after this story broke.