Rumor Mill: Heather Plans To Stick The Foot In

Report by Tyler "Ty" Deschanel

According to a report in the Sunday Mirror, famous scheming divorcee Heather Mills is planning to make a highly unfunny sounding cartoon series about estranged husband Paul McCartney and his family. Heather will portray Macca as a Homer Simpson-style slob in the show - ingeniously called The McFartneys. The former Beatle's children Stella, James and Mary will also appear, while Mills herself will be shown as a hard-working supermum and not a one legged gold digger.

A source told the newspaper: "This shows the lengths Heather Mills will go to in her attempts to blacken Paul's name. She wants it to be a cross between The Simpsons and South Park and reckons it will get cult status. She'll clearly be sadly mistaken. She's saying the series will expose everything that has gone on and goes on in the McCartney family, all under the guise of the cartoon characters. But most of it has been dreamed up and cast from her skewed and twisted imagination."

Bizarrely the source turned out to be Heather Mills herself.