Rumour Mill: For Pete's sake! Moss to marry Doherty

Report by Tyler "Ty" Deschanel

Kate Moss is in the headlines again after agreeing to marry fellow untalented, overrated, ugly, goggle-eyed, disease ridden "singer" Pete Doherty. The controversial couple tried to get married earlier this year in Las Vegas but even the usually liberal 'in it for the money' Vegas church threw them out due to their unsightly appearance.

The pair will instead get married at a local public toilet - "It's where they first met and continues to be their favourite hang out. It's all so romantic!" drooled a close friend / junkie.