Very Important News


Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Rumour Mill: Vin Diesel doesnt want V.D. anymore?

Report by Tyler “Ty” Deschanel

Rumour has it Dungeons & Dragons devotee Vin “VD” Diesel is considering changing his name yet again after suffering from cruel taunts. The actor originally named Mark Vincent changed his name to the more macho Vin Diesel in the late 90’s but didn’t not realise that the initials VD also stood for a rather embarrassing affliction.

The action man who made his name with a string of hits including xXx and The Fast & The Furious and then a string of flops including Chronicles of Riddick and Find Me Guilty had this to say to me: “I had no idea! When I picked the name everyone said you brave you brave! And I thought of course I’m brave, I’m Vin Diesel!”

But then the brawny (but not homosexual) celeb realised that his new name had begun to cause him untold embarrassment. “Even Ja Rule was laughing at me! He used to say “Holla! VD’s got VD Dogg! Holla!” And his real name is Jeffery!” growled Diesel.

“I’m just a kid from New York and all through my life I’ve suffered adversity which is why I worked out so I could beat up my mortal enemies and get chicks but this has been the worst ordeal of my life! Even worse than when I lost a marathon back to back session of Dungeons & Dragons and Warhammer! And when Ron Howard told all the girls I had VD and then stole my lunch money I had enough! I’m thinking about changing back to my other original name Henry Irvin Vaughn - I don’t think I’ll have any problems to do with initials with that classy moniker!

All I can say is: Yes VD we foresee nothing but plain sailing! Kudos!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you don't like gays.

8:08 AM  

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