Rumour Mill: Kelly scares girls!

Report by Clarissa Scheissberg

According to various trusted sources (the unreliable British media) Jack Osbourne (the geeky fat one of the Osbournes) blames his sister Kelly (the geeky fat one of the Osbournes, who incidentally was banned from MTV) for his lack-lustre love-life.

"She scares them off," moaned Jack. "...that's why I haven't had sex for four months!"

VIN thinks it might also be due to Jack's waning popularity!