The Buzz: No telly for Kelly

Report by Mr Jones

Fat daughter of rocker Ozzy Osbourne, Kelly Osbourne has been barred from ever appearing on MTV after her face made thousands of viewers feel violently sick. The foul mouthed failed pop star was on an episode of Punk'd with Aston Kutcher (rumoured to be replaced soon by Ang Lee) and all was going well.

Unfortunately once Osbourne realised she was being pranked she ran towards a camera; panicked the camera operator fumbled and accidentally went to zoom mode. The result was an extreme close up of Osbourne's face being beamed out all across America. Thousands of viewers instantly felt sick and many had fits and went into shock almost bringing the entire American medical infrastructure to a standstill.

The FCC has imposed the biggest fine ever of $200 million to MTV.

MTV vice president Taylor Smash had this to say, "After the unfortunate events of yesterday, MTV and all Viacom affiliates have decided to ban Kelly Osbourne from all future programming. We have been in talks with other networks and are pushing for a total ban."

The total ban will mean Osbourne will not be allowed to be seen or heard in public ever again.