The Buzz: Matt Dumbman?

Report by Mr Jones

Mental charity activists are trying to ban Matt Damon's next film The Bourne Ultimatum. The sequel to the spy thriller The Bourne Identity sees Damon as a spy who travels around Europe beating people up. However not everyone is a fan of Matt Damon's movies.

"Didn’t you see Team America? This man clearly needs medical attention yet those awful Hollywood producers keep forcing him to make films! Mental illness is not a joke! Apart from The Cosby Show all portrayals of mental illness have rung false and have only furthered stereotypes! Matt Damon is a victim, he needs help!" moaned Thelma Beaujolais head of the American Mental Institute.

But Bourne director Paul Greengrass is on the offensive "Hey if Matt doesn’t want to make the film he doesn't have to. No one is holding him at gunpoint!" he said whilst pointing a gun at Ben Affleck who in other news has just agreed to star in Greengrass's next film.

Although Damon wouldn’t speak to us directly his publicist did issue this statement: "Matt Damon, Matt Damon"

Indeed.