The Buzz: Jackson does NOT Thrill the UK!

Report by Mr Smith

'Ordinarily looking' Michael Jackson's first UK stage appearance in nine years fell flat on Wednesday night when he joined a group of youngsters on stage to sing only a few lines of 'We Are The World'. During the fleeting performance, his voice appeared to crack and falter on the high notes. Jackson's performance finished when the musical accompaniment disappeared - it was not known whether this was intentional or not.

The 'completely normal and in no way child molesting king of pop' also picked up an award at the World Music Awards. Presenting the award, Beyonce allegedly shouted: "If it wasn't for Michael Jackson I would have never have ever performed nor have implanted fake hair! He's made such a big impact on my life and on every performer's life, and on children in general. Michael Jackson, we love you. Congratulations to the King of Pop and also to me the Queen of Pop, Beyonce Knowles!

His big hit, Thriller, was eventually performed by an alleged musician called, Chris Brown who warbled and 'danced' his way through boos and jeers (allegedly while trying to get into his rental car).