The Buzz: Tom Cruises to the rescue

Report by Mr Smith

'Alleged Sea-org level Scientologist' Tom Cruise (War of the Worlds) and 'rubber faced' Katie Holmes (Tom's 'baby machine') rushed to the aid of a couple after witnessing a car accident in Utah on Saturday night. However, before calling for the emergency services Cruise allegedly quickly posed for the cameras (all owned by Katie Holmes) and allegedly added "if it were not for the Cruister, this couple could have been in a whole world of hurt! Hurray for the Cruister!" while the couple looked on in agony.

The couple made it to the hospital ok, and Cruise has again become the national hero who has captured our hearts.