Rumor Mill: Madonna commits a Syn(agogue)

Report By Tyler 'Ty' Deschanel

According to my sources aging pop star Madonna has been thrown out of her Kabalah group after allegedly eating pork chops in a synagogue and insulting the Jewish faith whilst on a drunken bender.

The 80s sex pot turned new millennium hypocritical bore, also supposedly remarked how she thought Schindler's List was a fun fictional film that could have had a few more laughs and car chases but was still amusing.

"We are outraged by her behaviour! We threw her out after she ate bacon and pork chops and then flung bits of it at the others! Then she insulted our faith! And worst of all she insulted Jackie Mason! I mean come on! Oy Vey! We will not be welcoming her back!" barked Rabbi Jacob Ishmael Jerry Seinfeld.

The star meanwhile has decided not to apologise "I'm Madonna! I don’t apologise. If the Jews don’t like me then that’s their problem - there are plenty of other religions and minority groups I can abuse to boost my popularity!"