Rumor Mill: Rodriguez set free and furious

Report by Clarissa Scheissberg

'Butch' star Michelle Rodriguez (Blue Crush) is a free woman after serving just hours of her 60-day drunk-driving jail sentence. The actress and alleged 'part time lesbian wrestler' was released because of 'a book release program that is typical for non-violent offenders with sentences of less than 90 days'. Rumor has it however is that she held an impromtpu performance of the Mary Poppins classic, 'A spoon full of sugar' whilst wearing a male suit akin to what Charlie Chaplin had worn in his films and a matching cane and a bowler hat and moustache*. This was much to the delight of the bewildered audience that included Lil' Kim and other detainees, and successfully helped her early release. What is strange about this story is that upon her release from prison she allegedly shouted 'madly' (while wearing the bowler hat and shaking her cane of course) "I'm moving to France... People don't bother you there. I do what I got to do and then I leave the country and never come back." Apparantly an official at the Charles de Gaulle airport had this to say, "Zut Alor! Ve alzedy have Bridget Bardot! people vill think France es un nation of crazy people!" No i don't think this will change our opinion on our much revered friends.


*The prison warden has not confirmed or denied that it may have been a real moustache.