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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Rumor Mill: Aniston needs some Lov-Ing

Report by Tyler "Ty" Deschanel

Rumor has it unlucky-in-love loser Jennifer Aniston was spotted exiting a Burger King (eww!) accompanied by none other than humorist Jon Lovitz! After being ceremoniously dumped by superior looking, former beau Brad Pitt, Aniston hooked up with ugly-yet-popular-actor Vince Vaughn in a tragically desperate attempt at reclaiming her fame, however the unappealing “comic” actor soon ditched her after Angelina Jolie tempted him away, following in the footsteps of her earlier seduction of Brad Pitt.

My spies have told me that Jenifer Aniston has become increasingly desperate now that she has lost two men to Jolie and has been asking out anyone. Reportedly after Gary Coleman, Clint Howard and even Weird Al Yankovich all tuned her down (Ouch!), her sights shifted to Lovitz who agreed to go out with her as long as no one saw them together. But now that VIN has exclusively broken this story Lovitz’s hot shot career is sure to suffer a slump whilst Aniston’s profile can only be boosted by her association with Lovitz. All we can say is Jon think about your dignity!

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