Game ON! With Sakura & The Dude: E3 2006 Report!

Report by Sakura Yamamoto & The Dude

Hi guys!! Last week’s totally awesome E3 show in LA had all the big games companies showing off their new products. The Dude & I were there to bring you all the big news!!

Playstation 3 announced!! World indifferent!!
Sony revealed the Playstation 3 (PS3) will retail at a whopping $600 this winter. The unimpressed crowd of gaming aficionados were vocal about their apathy to the system. However Sony boss Ken Kuturagi remained bullish and had this to say: “I don’t care if it’s too expensive you will all buy one even if your kids starve! And no I’m not even joking.” Ha-ha that Ken!!

The dude says: I won’t be buying one, unless I get it cheap.

Wii will rock you!!
Kiddie game manufacturer Nintendo also revealed their new console last week to much amusement amongst the nerdy press. The unfortunately named system is called Wii (as in wee a popular slang word for urine) and will utilise a remote control style controller which is motion sensitive. Sony’s PS3 ”coincidently” also decided to use similar technology which caused Nintendo officials to claim that Sony copied them – Sony hit back by claiming Nintendo copied their TV remote controls and that Nintendo suck anyway. Nintendo had no come back to that.

Nintendo boss Reggie Fils-Aime commented “Our system is a REVOLUTION, it is a REVOLUTION in terms of gaming, a REVOLUTION in terms of control and a REVOLUTION in terms of immersion so yes that’s why this REVOLUTION is named Wii. We are not scared by Sony or Microsoft - well not much anyway. Our console has much worse graphics so we don’t even need to compete with them. We will also bring some hardcore adult titles such as Mario and Kirby that will appease to gamers who like brutal games. Yes our system is also much cheaper so please buy one! Please!!!!”

That desperate plea seemed to work as most of the buzz at the show was about the smart looking system, whether this translates to actual sales when it launches this winter is probably unlikely.

The dude says: Wii is a stupid name.

Xbox 360 Malaise!!
Umm Microsoft had nothing to show as they aren’t very inventive, however head honcho J Allard revealed that the popular anti social simulator Grand Theft Auto will be released on the underwhelming Xbox 360 system and will be updated online allowing players to be violent with more flexibility. Other than this and the announcement of a HD-DVD Drive and Halo 3, Microsoft had nothing else of note at the show: “We may not be the most creative or interesting games company but we are ok!” Yes, yes you are!!

The dude says: Grand Theft Auto is cool