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Friday, May 05, 2006

The Buzz: Excessive Force (Press Release)

The infamous producing duo D&T Productions presents their latest action epic.

After their last production company's office mysteriously burned to the ground resulting in a huge insurance payout to the producers (who coincidentally were spotted dancing and carrying lighter fluid moments after the fire) the world famous producers (behind such DTV classics as Hoops series, the TV spin off Hoops: The Community College Years and also the religious themed erotic thrillers The Priest, The Priest vs. Dracula and The Priest 2: The Sequel) had to shut up shop. But now after 4 whole months out of action they are back after being acquitted of previous unrelated incidents and with a new bigger better studio,
ACTION MOVIES INC!

And with that they present their greatest action smash yet...

In the grand tradition of
Hoops
The Priest
The Chosen One
Hot Cop
The Cliché Man
Check Mates
The Apologiser

Comes a new breed of action movie!...

When the UN headquarters in New York are taken hostage by an enigmatic maniac bent on world domination only one group of heroes can rescue the world's greatest leaders from the grip of the evil terrorists! One line up that demands justice!

The line up? Only STEVEN SEGAL, JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMME, DAVID HASSELHOFF, CHUCK NORRIS, BILLY BLANKS and TOM CONTI!

STEVEN SEGAL plays Alex R Storm once a decorated CIA agent and now a simple blue collar plumber, but when trouble clogs the pipes of truth he'll unplug them... with deadly results!

JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMME plays Father Gunther Van Blast a spiritual man who hates violence but hates crime even more! on a religious trip to New York he is caught up in this high stakes game of political intrigue where the only thing higher than his principles are his kicks!

BILLY BLANKS is Black! John Black! He's not only a gung ho patriot car salesman; he's also a former Olympic kung fu expert with something to prove!

CHUCK NORRIS plays Chuck Boris a retired man who spends his days playing chess and eating cereal, but when he hears of this nefarious plot he comes out of retirement and reveals a huge shocking secret... he is a former US president! and he's about to get constitutional... to the extreme!

TOM CONTI
plays Alfred Quietfellow, a timid man with an explosive hobby - he's a demolitions expert! with his knowledge of big bangs and quick wit he'll add class and deadly force to the team!

finally the team is headed up by DAVID HASSELHOFF he plays Daniel J Handsome the charismatic ladies man who breaks hearts... and necks! He must lead this motley crew against the evil terrorist and restore peace the only way they know... with maximum pain!

Co starring MARIO VAN PEEBLES as the deadly terrorist B. Artimus Drill (aka B.A.D!), CARMEN ELECTRA as the sexy FBI agent/ nuclear physicist who has her own steamy grudge against the terrorists and MIGUEL A NUNEZ as the nosy Librarian who can't help getting involved... with hilarious consequences!

This is one action fest you can't miss!

This summer one band of heroes must save the world...

EXCESSIVE FORCE!

"The bigger they are... they harder they die!"

Very Important News is confident this will be a big hit - expect an exclusive review soon.

1 Comments:

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1:52 AM  

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